Public Mall Toilet Pee
The stars wheeled majestically past, multi-colored points against velvet black. I watched them turn, and imagined that each one was a woman. Tall ones, and short. Pale ones and dark. Young, old, and in-between. Women I'd known, women I'd seen, women I'd only dreamed about.Forgotten for the moment were the months of grinding monotony, of plunging through hyperspace, never sure just when or where we would emerge from the gray nothingness. This time we had broken out almost exactly on schedule, falling down the long slopes of a gravity well toward a welcoming sun. Every space-hand not on duty was out there with me, a double handful of us enjoying the release of a long, uninterrupted space float."All hands. All hands." The tiny voice in my ear brought back all of the boredom of mind-deadening routine. I ignored it for as long as I could, drinking in the soothing, healing emptiness of deep space for a few more seconds. "All hands return to ship. Prepare for Class Three. Shit ... anyway,”. I was frustrated and couldn’t think of the words I wanted. “I get why you might not want to continue things, and I don’t want to sound clingy, but, goddamn it, I feel like shit.” There I said it.She stood up, now with tears in her eyes. “Stand up, we need to go inside where people don’t see us.” She matched action to the word and I followed. Standing in my living room, the door not even quite shut, she took a deep breath and said, “You’re the one that said you didn’t do complications. I get that you’re older than me but I like you and I won’t just be a fuck doll for you!” Now she was yelling.I was boiling, raging, fuck I was angry but I found a calm voice from somewhere, fuck if I know where.“What did I say that prompted this, please remind me?”“You said you don’t do friends with benefits, you don’t want the drama.”“You’re right. But do you understand I don’t do sex with someone who isn’t at least a friend?” She just looked at me. There was moisture but it might be.
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